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Stay with Your Parents or Go Independent?

If you turn 18 in the United States and other developed countries, most people expect you to move out, strike out on your own, and make something of yourself.

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In the Philippines, even after 18-single or married, with children or none, a lot of young adults still stay with their parents. And there’s nothing wrong with that. Extended families aren’t all that rare in the country.

There comes a time when you may think of moving out of your parents’ house. If you’re a new graduate, you will face this question sooner, especially if your parents’ house is within Metro Manila. Those of us who came from the provinces, well, we don’t really have a choice, do we?

 

To stay with the parents or to go independent? That is the question.

Both options have their merits. Even if you’re set on moving out, you should still look at the pros and cons of both options.

Stay with the parents.

Pros

Save a lot of money.

It costs a lot to strike out on your own. You will need to pay the deposit for the apartment you’ll rent. You need to buy all the things you need to live on your own–stove, oven, coffee maker (yes, that’s a must!), pillows, bed, chairs, tables, and a whole lot more. You don’t want to live in a very bare unit, do you?

Check out our article on how much it costs for a single yuppie to live in Metro Manila.

Since you’re not spending a lot for your own bills, you can start saving money early on, building up your economic muscle to prepare for going solo in the near future.

Free food.

Oh yeah! Most moms cook really delicious meals (or at least delicious for the family). And that’s one of the things you’ll miss when you’re finally on your own. When you’re at home, parents want you to eat regularly even at the risk of becoming heavier!

If you set out on your own, you gotta learn how to buy stuff from the market and grocery. You even need to learn how to cook. No more free foood!

Support group from parents & siblings

Of course, the best reason for staying at home is the support from your parents–financial and emotional. (Okay, I may be making generalizations here, but it’s usually at home that you get support, right?) At the end of the day, someone is bound to ask how your day went, what challenges you faced, and what you had for lunch.

While you’re staying at home, it sometimes feels overkill and OA. But when you grow older, you will miss these kinds of questions and the caring eyes from the people who ask them.

Cons

Alongside the perks, there are some challenges you need to surmount.

Their house, their rules.

Of course! Since you’re staying at your parents’ house, you should abide by their rules. This may include habits and practices about going home late, buying stuff, or even inviting friends for a party. You may even get in trouble if you insist on doing your own thing, when you should also consider them.

Meddling with your affairs.

Let’s face it. Parents can be a little too meddling and controlling at times. In their eyes, they still see you as the baby with the cute, Puss-in-Boots-of-Shrek-movie cat, the baby they doted after and whose diapers they changed. So, sometimes, they can’t seem to believe that you’re a grown-up.

Case in point. Some parents may try imposing their views on the person you should be dating, how you handle your money, and even the way that you dress up. No matter how many times you remind them you’re 22, or 28, it just doesn’t seem to work on them, right?

If you’re the headstrong type, then you’ll have your way, but at the expense of some good relations with your folks. If you’re the pushover type, then you just let go of your own convictions and just swallow what they tell you. Ugh.

You may fail to grow as a person.

The greatest danger of meddling parents is that you fail to grow and develop the crucial skills needed to survive in the school of hard knocks. If your parents always make the decisions for you, you will blame them if you fail. And if you do succeed, there will be that nagging voice at the back of your head that you cannot do anything without your parents.

Again, every yuppie’s situation is unique and you need to analyze your situation before making any significant decision.

Personally, my take is to go independent. It’s an awesome way to flex your muscles and take on life.

Pros

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Independence.

Well, you’re on your own. Your decisions are yours. Your family and friends are still important of course, but living on your own will give you the freedom to use your time, money, and other resources for what you see fit. For yuppies who know what they want out of life, this is an exciting place to be!

Independence can also be a scary thing. And this is definitely stepping out of your comfort zone.

You learn crucial life skills.

You learn how to cook, how to wash your own clothes, repair defective door knobs, locks, and other things. You even get to clean the toilet and the sink!

You also learn how to manage your time and your money. Nobody will do it for you so you better learn fast. What’s even more exciting is if you make it work. Students from the provinces who studied in the Metro already have this advantage, but if it’s your first time to be away from your family, it takes some adjustment before you get it right.

Cons

More costly.

Since you’re by yourself, you need to spend more money on utilities, food, and other stuff. Do check our article on a single yuppie’s expenses in Metro Manila.

If you get sick, nobody’ll take care of you.

In the series “Big Bang Theory” whenever Sheldon gets sick, he needs his mom to sing “Soft Kitty” for him. Since his mom isn’t around, he made his neighbor Penny sing the song for him.

Same thing goes for you. Nobody will be there to take care of you if you got sick. Unless, of course, you have housemates who are friends. Or if your friends are just nearby.

Loneliness

Lastly, if you choose to live alone (I’m not saying you should. Because you can definitely look for house-mates to minimize the cost and have some sort of companions.), then loneliness can kick in.

There will be times that friends are busy and family members are far away. Sure we have mobile phones, Skype, Facebook, and all that. But nothing replaces human warmth and conversation.

Conclusion

It’s fine whether to stay at home with your parents or move out and go independent. But if you really want to learn how to live, my suggestion is to go independent. That’s how eagles do it right? Besides, if your parents reared you well, then they can help you strengthen your wings, fly and soar high, and help you establish your own nest. If you’re ready to make the jump and live independently, check out our guide to finding an apartment to rent.

How about you? Would you rather stay with your parents? Or move out and go independent?

image credits: Esra Krummer; Ryo Chijiwa via Flickr

Published inResidenceStreet Smart

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